Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Love...My Job? NO! (Fiction by my friend Apasoha)

Welcome to The Fifth Level of Hell.

I work in THE FIFTH LEVEL OF HELL.  So lets call the spot I work in: Fifth Level of Hell Cantina.  I spend my days working in a dingy cavern that is forevermore tinged red by the fires of hell. I, half human/half demon, have been consigned to the Fifth Level of Hell for punishment for so slight an infraction that over the centuries I have forgotten what it was.

The cavern where the cantina is located (did I mention dingy; tinged red; HELL?) has been in Hell for eons.  Never updated, never upgraded. Lucifer, the boss, ignores us unless it is convenient for him. Currently many things are on the fritz, ready to fritz, or fritzed so long ago it is a distant memory that they ever worked at all.

Still we are expected to give the best level of service to our demon patrons. In fact they expect it and when expectations are not met...All HELL breaks loose. (Pun intended.)  My fellow internees and I do our best.  The degree with which we each hate our job is fairly equal.  Hey, in this day and age, there aren't a lot of options. So we struggle on finding fugacious happiness as we can.

Lucifer, when he deigns to grace us with his presence, prances around with his solid gold, diamond encrusted pitchfork. He is more interested in listening to show tunes and hanging at the local gym than listening to any employee complaints. He waltzes around: his overly large, forked tail twitching with every word that spews from his mouth.

Every day the same: Welcome to the Fifth Level of Hell Cantina. It is my pleasure to serve you today.

Today was especially dreary in the Fifth Level of Hell.  Even our patrons were unusually surly. The cook, Kazbakar, threw slop on a plate with abandon.  The dishwasher, Rolakar, came to work looking as if he had stopped and wallowed in the mud of the demon horse stables before coming to work.  While I, I could barely keep from screaming, so great was my disgust at yet another day in Hell serving ungrateful demons.

I hate my job in The Fifth Level of Hell.

More Fifth Level of Hell Stories to come.


GunDiva said...

I, too, have worked in the Fifth Level of Hell.

Glad I only ocassionaly visit now.

Ursula said...

:) Good to know someone escaped!

Jonelle said...

hmm, kinda sounds like Hell Depot ;)